Now u said u are working and u don't like people to disturb u?

How about your partner is dying just besides you while u are working and u just fucking leave her die because u are freaking upset she's disturbing ur work with her plead of life????

How about ur child is begging u to bring him to clinic because he's having high fever and about to collapse in anytime but u just let him die because are freaking upset he's disturbing ur work???

u can go to hell die with ur work and boss!!!!!!

The Office

It’s funny when people say something else, and do or mean the other way around. Here in my so-called “2nd crib” everybody seems to pretend they know everything (when they are actually just a piece of rotten meat).

They complaint about others – whether they are doing the “right” job or not, whose ideas are better than the rest, who did the most of work, who are not doing least of work, and even the way somebody’s dresses up has become a world issue…bla..bla…bla…bla…

If you ask me how I survive this “gloomy weather” everyday, I honestly don’t know! I, myself, am surprised on my magical ability to ignore the toxics and keep myself reserve towards what people call “the office politics”. Jinx!

Tell you the truth, I’m getting tired and frustrated towards these people and their attitudes. I couldn’t seem to blend well ( I mean more on their habitual actions) and tangled between the real me and the “other” me – yup, I have to create an alter-ego which I still fail to give a proper name due to my ridiculously crazy life recently.

Sometimes I doubt these people truly deserve to be here. or shall I say it's ME who don't deserve to be here? Hurrmmmm….

Tell me what went wrong....

I feel like a total helpless loser recently. I keep making mistakes and people keep pointing out my weaknesses. I feel like I have no quality and have lost a lot of momentum. It makes me feel I am dependent to others to keep telling me what should I do to make things right. Everything that I try to improve seems wrong.

No matter how hard I tried to get things fixed it's still broken. I thought I have tried my best but my best is not good enough to others.

Why it is so hard to get things right? Why everything does not lead me anywhere? Am I that stupid? Am I so reckless? Am I always careless? Am I so low in quality?

Where goes my strength? Where goes my confident? Where goes my previously smart self? Where goes all the witty-ness?
Can somebody tell me at least that I have tried my best and that I have more potential to go far?

Can they tell me at least that I have put my effort and they appreciate it but I just need to brush up more?

Sometimes, how I just wish I could curl up and get myself lost in my own “under –the-bed-world” over and over again….

FIVE EXCITING JOURNEY!

This blog has been abandoned for a few decades literally. I was busy with endless chores and tasks that never empathy me. During these few months bundle of joys and tears have visited my humble little hut (precisely heart). But here,I would only be excited to share the greatest joy and gift I have ever presented with! I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY!!!! Oh Lord, thank you so much for this blessing. I have never expected it to be this early, nor that I ever thought I would be as strong as now to carry this little bundle of joy in my tummy for FIVE exciting, full-of-love months already! Alhamdulillah...

Both my hubby and I have been playing guessing games since day 1 and up until today we have yet to be informed whether it's really a BOY or a GIRL. Excitement fills the air every single day when my hubby and I talk about our coming soon miniature. =) We have no preferences (albeit I know hubby has always secretly been dreaming of a little daughter) of gender. For me, as long as mini me is perfectly healthy and will be born as a soleh/solehah that would be perfectly happiest. But being soleh/solehah will also depend how we raise him/here.Of course, both of us will be trying our best to give only the best guide and education. InsyaAllah, may God bless our sincere intention.

We have only bought few baby stuffs like those cutie, colorful jumpers, blanket,nail clipper & wet tissue(like I am so excited with those cute baby stuff I even bought these in advanced!), socks (because he/she will be too tiny for few months before he/she could wear his/her own cutie little shoe), baby pad, milk bottle (even though I have always planned to fully breastfeed this is necessary for stocking purposes). We would love to buy our baby more stuffs but at this moment to be safe it's better to wait until the gender is fully determined. This would be easier to buy the stuffs according to our preferred theme color. Or should I say, the already determined theme colors for baby - like pink for girl or blue for boy? Duhhhh....=)

My elder & excited sister has already planned to take a week leave upon my delivery so she could help to take care of the baby. I never asked her, but she voluntarily vote herself for the noble job.Thank you sistah! I would really really appreciate it.hehehehe.Of course my mom will be there to take care of me and baby during the 44 confinement days.

I am planning to stay in town for a week after delivery, only (preferably) to stay at my home, not at my mom's in law albeit the 5 minutes distance of our cribs. I would want a more comfortable and conducive environment as the post postpartum hormonal imbalance might be very very unpredictable! And of course, my newborn also need a conducive and comfortable place for him/her to start adjusting to his/her new world. =) Can't wait! And if everything is fine, I hardly pray, I will be leaving to hometown continuing my confinement at my home-sweet-home ---> the place where I grow up for the past 20 years over. Ooohhh, that would bring a lot of great childhood memory with my mom and dad.

These are my plans. Finger cross with God's will InsyaAllah the plan would be done perfectly fine.

More updates to come! Leaving now for reality. Ciao! =)

I HAVE TO SAY THIS BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAND THE ABUSE A MOTHER DOES TO HER OWN KIDS.

I hate u because u r selfish mother. u neglect ur own child.u pursue a life of joy (in ur own freakin way) by living on ur kids tears and pains. u don't even remember when was the last time u feed them. u never care to see them at all even though u live in the same house. u let other people abuse ur child.and u abuse them too - emotionally and physically. u don't bother asking about their day. u don't bother if they had their meal or not. u don't bother to say hello to them.u don't bother to sleep with them at all. u leave them sleep all over the house - without proper sheet n pillow.they looks like homeless child in other's house.u don't give a freakin shit about their feeling. u don't bother to come back home in many days to see them. u repeatedly told ur own kids they are ur burden.u repeatedly told ur kids they are the cause of ur chaotic life (when u r actually the bitch of ur own wasted life).ur husband (or rather be called as ex-husband) is exactly the same as u.both of u regards ur kids as burden that stop u from joy n happiness.u dont take responsible to ur own kids.u neglect them as if they don't exist.u let other people (who actually don't give a shit and even think ur kids are their freakin burden too!)abuse ur kids. u r he worst mother I ever seen in this freakin world.

i don't think u deserve to be called a mother or even a HUMAN.

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Hong Kong Express

Despite his persistent fear of flying my other half departs from this beautiful land of rain & sunshine heading to Hong Kong for a working trip this morning. That's the lavish of being in the media line where you got lotsa chances travelling all around the globe FOC!

He'll be there until Saturday covering Taio Cruz - a UK born singer/songwriter/music producer's concert and media events. Well, that means I’ll be free for shopping spree, facial & waxing appointments, mani & pedi bla..bla..bla... for 3 yea-right-i’m available-days. But how I wish these would ever happen! Knowing my condition now I know it would be quite impossible to do so.
Why? Here goes the list:-

a) I’m working today and tomorrow (Friday). By the time I’m done with the office (chores), I would be so tired and my excitement has gone below negative.

b) The traffic jam during weekdays here is nonsense! You don’t want to be stucked in ur car for few hours just to reach mall and find out the shops have closed their doors for next day.

c) I have generously small amount of dollar now and have to really save it for rainy days. (Sometimes I feel sad for not being able to buy stuff I like anymore like shoe, dress, tops, jeans...etc. but this is the vow I make to myself when I tied the knot with my other half almost a year ago. I would stand tall beside him and support him through thick and thin. Even it means I have to let go my previously (lavish? Lols) life. And I’m so proud of myself for doing so!

d) The fashion shoot for my cousin’s new clothing line will be on Saturday afternoon. This leaves me with no adequate time to spend doing those dreamed of. I’ll play a role of her (unpaid) model dressing up my cousin own design. This is not something new for me as I have had countless photo shoot before during my hey -days as part timer. My only worries are I have put on (a lot) of pounds and my bulging preggy (yes, I’m expecting a wonderful first baby soon! ) tummy would show off and spoil everything! Arrgggghhhh...help needed here. Fast!

e) Oh well...this has nothing to do with the above. But I just noticed while jotting down my thoughts here my other half forgot to take his credit card from me! This leaves him with only one card, which we are not sure could be accepted or not in HK!!! Pity him (and me cause that might lessen the chance of getting HK fridge magnet as souvenirs. Sigh).

All I wish is he’ll be back to my arm safe and sound on Saturday night (regardless with fridge magnet or not) so I would have that comfort arm and mesmerizing smile back soonest possible.

I miss him already.... a lot.